Two and a half years: A time where every hope, desire, and wish I’ve ever dreamt of has become a reality. Between an amazing job, a loving husband, a beautiful home, a financially stable life, and an adorable puppy our life looks picture perfect on the outside. For much of it it is, except one thing. One thing that has such a deep root of pain and frustration. One thing that holds the entire power to define me as a true woman. One thing that has broken my heart over and over again without ceasing.
When Josh (my sweet husband) and I began our journey over a year ago to bring a beautiful new life into this world I had such high hopes. As with everything in my life I planned, researched, and prepared everything I possibly could. I was confident that it would take 3 months maximum before we were sharing the most amazing news with our families. One month passed, two months passed, and then three and we had yet to conceive. This was when all my doubts and fears began to come to the surface. Somewhere deep down I had always known I was going to struggle with infertility, that getting pregnant was not going to be easy. Why should it be easy? Everything else in my life had gone exactly according to plan, so something had to give.
After nearly 7 months of trying, countless books and articles about ways to help conception, and many odd remedies and tricks along the way I was finally given an answer as to why becoming pregnant may be more difficult for me than others. I was diagnosed with Endometriosis in March and had surgery to help alleviate any more progress of the disease, which is treatable but not curable. The 5 months following surgery our hopes were high that we would finally get that news we had dreamt of for so long, but each month the door to parenthood was slammed in our face over and over again without any explanation as to why.
As I have quietly suffered with this pain of infertility for over a year I always wondered why me? Why couldn’t I just be like all those other beautiful pregnant women with those perfectly round bellies and that glow to their faces? Why couldn’t we have been the couple that was announcing our pregnancy after the first few months of trying? Why did I have to be the one to suffer a pain that so many understand yet NO ONE speaks about?
All of these questions loomed in my head for months on end without an end in sight, constantly reminding me that my hope of becoming a mother was no where in my near future. That was until recently when God’s plans out stood our own. Little did we know that this journey of becoming parents would lead us down a winding and twisting road that would finally bring us to where we are now. Never in our wildest dreams did we imagine we would be taking on this quest that the Lord has laid before us. We will be needing all the prayers and positive thoughts you can muster up because in 2016 we are…..